Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley. c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Big Boy Weekend

My boys, Madd and Maj, are off for a fun filled trip for the weekend to Grandma Morton's house!  It couldn't come at a better time too... little Mitch has been so sick and Will and I haven't had a whole lotta sleep lately. Will is not going to last long though... my bet is he will be on his way out there very early in the morning!  Those poor boys deserve a little fun though.  We have been sick all winter long and they haven't been able to do anything fun, with the exception of our trip to San Diego... that is always fun:)  I hope they have the best time!  We will miss them but hopefully we can get some sleep (har har) and feel rejuvenated when they get home!  I hope they are good for Grandma and Grandpa, we will see!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Giants

Maddock said the funniest thing tonight in the bath... he is so random sometimes.  He says, "Giants are humans to bugs, huh mom" and then went on to say, "And spiders think we are ruining their homes so that is why they bite us, huh?"  Meanwhile, Major is sitting there with the washcloth up to his ear carrying on the biggest conversation.  LOL!  Kids are so funny!  I wish I had a recorder with me 24/7.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Funny Story

Will and I have not had much sleep lately and last night was the worst night we've had in the last week.  Mitch has been sleeping in our bed with us, or rather NOT sleeping, because we think he is going to have a seizure any day now, so needless to say we are quite sleep deprived.  In an effort to help Mitch fall asleep last night I suggest to Will that he go and get some Mylanta for Mitch.  The first funny thing is that Will came back with the Mylanta and a SPOON!  LOL!  I started laughing so hard... I was crying.  So I tell him to go and get a teaspoon size syringe and fill it up with the Mylanta.  I normally wouldn't have to explain this to Will, but as I said, we were severely lacking in the sleep department.  So he comes back with the syringe and Mitch fell to sleep for about 2 hours, YEAH!  It worked!  The second funny thing is that this morning I wake up and go into the kitchen and I see a little splatter of Mylanta all around my sink and on the countertop and then I start following it upwards to my recipe book holder and then from there I follow it up to the wall!  It is all over the wall behind the sink all the way up to the ceiling!  LOL!  The funniest thing is that Will has no clue as to what happened with the Mylanta!  He has no memory of it!  I am laughing so hard right now that I am crying again!  It is literally splattered everywhere!  WHAT A NIGHT! 
I love, love, love this man and his funny little quirks!  He makes me laugh all the time and I love it!  You are my funny Valentine Willy!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

MAJOR TURNS 3!

Three years ago tonight was one of the scariest nights of my life.  I was 29 weeks along in my pregnancy.  Will and I were in bed watching TV and I got up to go to the bathroom and I felt this gush... I ran into the bathroom and laid down and immediately called my doctor and Will called 911.  My doctor just told me to not even wait for the ambulance just get in the car and get to the hospital as fast as we could so that is what we did.  On the way there, I just thought there was no way this baby could be alive after all the blood I had lost.  When we got there they put the monitor on me and when I heard that heartbeat I just lost it.  I don't remember much after that... they wisked me off to have an emergency c-section.  After I woke up is when it hit me that we were looking at spending some more time at the NICU.  I couldn't believe this was happening to us again!  I know the Lord doesn't give you anything you can't handle but I was seriously questioning this one!  I was thinking the worst after what we had been through with Mitch.  I almost passed out when the doctor told us he had a grade I brain bleed (Mitch's is a grade IV, big difference) and they kept assuring me this was nothing like when Mitch was born.  Mitch was born at 25 weeks and weighed 1 lb 2 oz and Major was born at 29 weeks (huge difference) and weighed 3 lbs 4 oz.  Major only had to be in the NICU for 6 weeks but that was harder than Mitch's 9 months because I had 2 other kids at home this time.  We actually ended up taking Maj home really early so I was grateful for that.  He was mom's little buddy until just recently when he discovered that dad is pretty cool.  He was such a mommas boy that I nicknamed him "Roo" as in Kangaroo because he always wanted to be in his mommas "pouch".  He is a sweet little boy and we are so very grateful for him and we love him so very much.  What a wonderful addition to our family!  WE LOVE YOU ROO! 

These are some pictures from Major's birthday party...
So cute Chrissy!  We love you!  Look at Mitch reaching for her!  LOL!
I love this girl and her adorable pregger belly!  I couldn't quit touching it!  Chrissy started working with us when she was a little high school student and now she is married and starting her own little family!  It blows me away! lol!
Thanks for the clothes Grandma and Grandpa Layton!
Thanks for the clothes aunt Sissy!
Mitch has missed Chrissy... he followed her around all night!
Thomas!  Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Morton!
Spiderman!
Thanks for the present Chrissy! 
Look at Sydney's face! LOL!
Sydney is trying to sneek into this one too! lol
Thanks aunt MaryAnn and aunt Suzy! I LOVE the helmet!
Madd has to make sure it works!
Shonnie giving the helmet a run
Mitch is trying to get to the balloons too!
Sydney can't quite figure it out!
Yummy cake!

Monday, February 8, 2010

California Dreaming

We had such a good time on our trip!  Mitch did great the whole time and he absolutely LOVED all the rides, the rollercoaster being his favorite!  Major didn't know what to think of it yet but still had a good time... I think it was just a little too much to look at.  Maddock was still traumatized from our trip last year when he just had to ride Atlantis and it was too scary for him so he didn't want to go on any big rides... he even cried on Pirates!  He just stayed on the little kid rides but he had a lot of fun!  It was a little cold there this time and we got rained on the last day but I'll take that over snow any day!  We had almost all of Will's family there and my parents were there also.  It was great being able to spend time with both of them... I wish I had more time with my parents since we don't get to see them very often anymore but I was happy to have been able to spend the week there with them.  We would spend the days at the parks with Will's family and then go home and be up late at night talking and laughing with my parents!  We had the best of both worlds!  What a FUN trip! 

This was our day at Sea World
cheese!
Dancing in the street with Grandma!
The seals are always a fav with us!
This was our day at the Wild Animal Park which is about 10 minutes away from my parents house... very convenient!
Madd and the Giraffes
Major and the Rhinos
They got this Cheetah out right in front of us!
Major loves to sit at the table with Grandpa and eat nuts
This was our day at Disneyland
Uh Oh!  Will found the TNT!
Maddock LOVED these rockets!
Me and Maj on the rocket!
Maj and uncle Matt and aunt Maegen
A much needed day of rest!
there is always time to wrestle!
Little Mitch is tired from the week long adventure!
The boys eating pistachios with Grandpa
Mitch is trying to warm up by the fireplace