Welcome to Holland: September 2011

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Family pics

I love this time of year. We always do our family pictures in September and I look forward to it every year. I get to see our dear friend, Chrissy, who also happens to be an amazing photographer and spend time with my favorite people having the most fun. We had an especially good time this year. I think we are just savoring those last few days with Will before he leaves for work. Enjoying every moment together which made this shoot so special. We had no stressful fights about what to wear or where to go, it was just FUN! I loved how they turned out. Chrissy is so talented. We appreciate her so much for doing this for us every year. Did I mention we had SO MUCH FUN?!?

Seriously, there are so many more. They all turned out so great. Thanks for such a good time:)

School

Maddock LOVES his 2nd grade teacher, Miss Nelson. He always says how much fun she is. I love that he loves school. He is so excited about it. I can only hope that this feeling continues but I know it is still very early in his school years. haha.

Now here comes trouble….

Their poor teacher:)

Oreo mango

I have always said that one of the best things about having a child like Mitch is the people that come along because of him. Some of the most meaningful friendships I have are with people that have taken care of Mitch or worked with him at school or at our home. I am so grateful for those friendships. They mean the world to me. Just recently one of those people moved away and I had a really hard time because I have a very short list of people that I can call when I need to leave Mitch with someone and not worry every second. But just as soon as she moved away, she had devastating news. You can read all about it here… http://13pavements.blogspot.com/. I just hope that I can be there for her like she has been for me all these years. I pray that I can be as good a friend as she has been to me. I love ya, Haley.