Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley. c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

PINEWOOD DERBY

I have never had the privilege of going to a pinewood derby.  This was very entertaining and I am not just talking about the actual race, I am talking about the preparations!  I have never seen anything like it!  haha!  I got to watch Will meticulously build this car for Mitch and we enjoyed watching a little rivalry between us and a neighbor build and build and we CRUSHED him!  haha!  Mitch's car was appropriately named "The Ballard Killer". This was so much fun!  Can't wait until next year!
Go Mitch!
Yep... that is the FIRST PLACE trophy!  haha SUCKA
Posted by Courtney at 12:05 PM 1 comments

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

MITCH IS 9!

 Wow!  I can't believe it!  Nine years ago my life was forever changed.  My sweet baby boy was having complications in the womb.  We knew he had a brain bleed but we didn't know how bad.  I was admitted into the hospital to try and keep him in there as long as possible... well, that lasted exactly a week.  I had an abruption early in the morning on the 31 day of March, 2001.  I was 25 weeks pregnant.  Mitch was born weighing 1lb 2oz and was 12 inches long (that is NOT a typo).  He was immediately wisked off to the NICU.  He was blessed by his father and our Bishop that same night just in case he didn't make it, which we kept hearing, was a big possibility.  He did really well for about 2 weeks, which was what the nurses kept telling us was the "honeymoon phase" (I like to call it "the calm before the storm") because that is when it really got bad.  I didn't get to hold him until he was 2 months old and the only reason I got to hold him that night was because the doctors didn't think he was going to live through the night.  This sweet angel endured more in his 9 months in the NICU than anyone should ever have to in a lifetime.  I don't have the words to explain what it was like to sit and watch my sweet baby suffer like that. I feel so special to have been blessed with such an important spirit.  He has taught me so much more in 9 years than I would have ever expected to learn in a lifetime.  He has changed my life in every way for the better.  I am so blessed to have you in my life Mitch!  I love you sweet angel.  You are so special to your family.

Here are a few pics from his party... Not everyone was feeling well tonight but that didn't stop us from CELEBRATING!

Friends (for now):)
Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Layton!

Thanks Aunt Sissy, Uncle Scott, Shon and Syd!

Thanks mom and dad!

Thanks Aunt MaryAnn and cousins!  I love the diving toys!  My FAV!

the sickies

5+4=9

The cake was soooooooooo good! hahahaha!

Posted by Courtney at 10:12 PM 4 comments

Our week in a nut shell...

My sisters-in-law sent me these beautiful Tulips just because:)  I felt so special!  I love you guys!

Major picked a fight with the bicycle and the bicycle won:(  Poor baby.


Maddock started soccer!  He is so excited!


Posted by Courtney at 9:23 PM 1 comments

Monday, March 15, 2010

MADDOCK TURNS 6!

We had so much fun today for Maddock's 6th birthday! I can't believe he is already 6. Time flies by so fast, too fast. This child was my one and only full term baby with zero complications, if you don't consider being breach and needing a c-section a complication:) Compared to my other kids, this was CAKE! I remember how exciting it was to actually hear my baby cry after he was born. I was so excited to hear that cry I could hardly wait. We didn't hear Mitch cry at all so this was the one thing I was looking forward to. After he was born, I vividly remember watching Will as we both held our breath until we heard him cry. It was the sweetest sound I had ever heard! He has been entertaining us ever since! He is such a special boy and is adored by our family. We love you so much Maddock!



Here are some pictures from our party...
Friday night we met Micky and Suzy and their kids at Hollywood Connections and had such a good time with them
Mads first time rollerskating! 

Bumper Cars!

We also went swimming at their hotel... fun filled night FOR SURE!

My parents are so sweet to drive all the way up here from California just because Maddock asked them to be here for his birthday:) I love them so much

Maj is ready for the party!

King for the day

The glow dome!  Thanks Aunt MaryAnn and cousins!

Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Layton!  I will be super handsome at church!

More clothes?  Thanks mom and dad.

Thanks Aunt Sissy, Uncle Scott, Sydney and Shonn

The hit of the night... Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Morton!  LOVE the dinosaur!  So much fun!

We love our boys, they make us so happy!
Chrissy and Lance are always so good to come to all of our little birthday parties!  Maddock LOVES the book!  Thank you so much you two!
Mitch snuggling with Grandma and Grandpa
Pinata time!  Will had to bring out the protection for this one!
LOL!  Will is so funny!
Posted by Courtney at 10:56 PM 4 comments
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