Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley. c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Friday, May 28, 2010

THE GRADUATE



The big Maddock man did it!  He graduated from Kindergarten!  We are so proud of him!  The program was too cute, they sang songs about what they learned all year and they each had a little part to say.  He had his assessment the next day and he is officially a 1st grader!  WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU MADDOCK!

Here he is getting his diploma!  Proud moment!

Here he is with his teacher, Mrs. Price.  She was such a great teacher and Maddock loved her!  Thank you Mrs. Price!



WE FINALLY MADE IT!


Well folks, we finally made it to Arizona to see my grandma and the new temple.  It was such a fun trip!  We always have so much fun when we go to Thatcher.  Grandma is the most gracious host (as always).  My aunt and uncle are so fun to spend time with too... they always take us out to eat at "Shorty's", where my uncle has a running tab:)  Believe it or not (grandma couldn't believe it) but I did not order a fried ice cream!  They have THE BEST fried ice cream ever!  lol!  We hit all of the yummy mexican restaurants to get our fill of mexican food before we come home to Utah where there is none.  We hit El Charro where they have the best Chilaca's in the world.  We even hit the new one Mechy's and it wasn't too bad.  We also went to Tony's for my uncle's birthday.  I think I gained 10 pounds on this trip from all the yummy food!  The only thing I regret (I am such an idiot) is that when we went to the temple with grandma, I FORGOT TO TAKE A PICTURE!  How dumb?  There we were all dressed up and with grandma and I just forgot!?!  I am sure there will be another opportunity:)  All in all, it was a fantastic time, as usual.

LOL!  This is at my cousin's house.  They built this huge "pirate ship" tree house but all I could think of was "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!"

Maj ridin the John Deere with a big ole smile

There's Maddock with his big smile

and Mitch was enjoying the warmth and sunshine

This was THE CRAZIEST thing I've ever seen!  Their cattle come right up to the fence to watch everything that is happening. You are now entering "The Twilight Zone"  LOL! 

SO FUNNY!

Maddock and Ryder talkin to the cows

These two had so much fun in this little car it was so fun to watch


sweet grandma always loves to just sit and watch the kids play

I love this woman!  She is so special to me.

My kids love her too!  I am so grateful for the blessing it is for my kids to be able to know grandma and what a wonderful woman she is.

Mitch reached and pulled for grandma the whole time we were there.  Unfortunately she can't pick him up anymore but he was sure trying.  I think Mitch knows grandpa and wanted to give her a big hug from him:)




Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Gila Valley Temple

I can not wait to get down to Thatcher and see this temple!  I have never been to the temple with my grandma whom I am very close with.  This would be such a great opportunity to go with her and attend a session because it is so close to her house.  She has a view of this temple right outside her kitchen window and I just can't wait to go see her and experience this with her.  Our family has such a great history in Thatcher.  Some of my fondest memories of childhood are of our times spent in Thatcher.  My great, great, great, great grandfather settled the town of Thatcher and both of my parents grew up there.  This is also where I attended Eastern Arizona College.  I would go to my grandparents house everyday for lunch and I grew very close to my grandma in those times.  She is such an example of charity and her pure love of Christ strengthens me everyday.  She is an amazing woman and I can only hope that I become even half of the woman she is.  I love her so much.


Saturday, April 24, 2010

PINEWOOD DERBY

I have never had the privilege of going to a pinewood derby.  This was very entertaining and I am not just talking about the actual race, I am talking about the preparations!  I have never seen anything like it!  haha!  I got to watch Will meticulously build this car for Mitch and we enjoyed watching a little rivalry between us and a neighbor build and build and we CRUSHED him!  haha!  Mitch's car was appropriately named "The Ballard Killer". This was so much fun!  Can't wait until next year!
Go Mitch!
Yep... that is the FIRST PLACE trophy!  haha SUCKA

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

MITCH IS 9!

 Wow!  I can't believe it!  Nine years ago my life was forever changed.  My sweet baby boy was having complications in the womb.  We knew he had a brain bleed but we didn't know how bad.  I was admitted into the hospital to try and keep him in there as long as possible... well, that lasted exactly a week.  I had an abruption early in the morning on the 31 day of March, 2001.  I was 25 weeks pregnant.  Mitch was born weighing 1lb 2oz and was 12 inches long (that is NOT a typo).  He was immediately wisked off to the NICU.  He was blessed by his father and our Bishop that same night just in case he didn't make it, which we kept hearing, was a big possibility.  He did really well for about 2 weeks, which was what the nurses kept telling us was the "honeymoon phase" (I like to call it "the calm before the storm") because that is when it really got bad.  I didn't get to hold him until he was 2 months old and the only reason I got to hold him that night was because the doctors didn't think he was going to live through the night.  This sweet angel endured more in his 9 months in the NICU than anyone should ever have to in a lifetime.  I don't have the words to explain what it was like to sit and watch my sweet baby suffer like that. I feel so special to have been blessed with such an important spirit.  He has taught me so much more in 9 years than I would have ever expected to learn in a lifetime.  He has changed my life in every way for the better.  I am so blessed to have you in my life Mitch!  I love you sweet angel.  You are so special to your family.

Here are a few pics from his party... Not everyone was feeling well tonight but that didn't stop us from CELEBRATING!

Friends (for now):)
Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Layton!

Thanks Aunt Sissy, Uncle Scott, Shon and Syd!

Thanks mom and dad!

Thanks Aunt MaryAnn and cousins!  I love the diving toys!  My FAV!

the sickies

5+4=9

The cake was soooooooooo good! hahahaha!

Our week in a nut shell...

My sisters-in-law sent me these beautiful Tulips just because:)  I felt so special!  I love you guys!

Major picked a fight with the bicycle and the bicycle won:(  Poor baby.


Maddock started soccer!  He is so excited!


Monday, March 15, 2010

MADDOCK TURNS 6!

We had so much fun today for Maddock's 6th birthday! I can't believe he is already 6. Time flies by so fast, too fast. This child was my one and only full term baby with zero complications, if you don't consider being breach and needing a c-section a complication:) Compared to my other kids, this was CAKE! I remember how exciting it was to actually hear my baby cry after he was born. I was so excited to hear that cry I could hardly wait. We didn't hear Mitch cry at all so this was the one thing I was looking forward to. After he was born, I vividly remember watching Will as we both held our breath until we heard him cry. It was the sweetest sound I had ever heard! He has been entertaining us ever since! He is such a special boy and is adored by our family. We love you so much Maddock!



Here are some pictures from our party...
Friday night we met Micky and Suzy and their kids at Hollywood Connections and had such a good time with them
Mads first time rollerskating! 

Bumper Cars!

We also went swimming at their hotel... fun filled night FOR SURE!

My parents are so sweet to drive all the way up here from California just because Maddock asked them to be here for his birthday:) I love them so much

Maj is ready for the party!

King for the day

The glow dome!  Thanks Aunt MaryAnn and cousins!

Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Layton!  I will be super handsome at church!

More clothes?  Thanks mom and dad.

Thanks Aunt Sissy, Uncle Scott, Sydney and Shonn

The hit of the night... Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Morton!  LOVE the dinosaur!  So much fun!

We love our boys, they make us so happy!
Chrissy and Lance are always so good to come to all of our little birthday parties!  Maddock LOVES the book!  Thank you so much you two!
Mitch snuggling with Grandma and Grandpa
Pinata time!  Will had to bring out the protection for this one!
LOL!  Will is so funny!