Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley. c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Seizures

Mitch had another seizure last night.  This is his second one in a three week period.  I will never get used to his seizures... we have pretty much gotten used to little Mitch and all of his issues but this one will never get easier for me.  I think this feeling is heightened because of our sweet nephew, Tyler, passing away due to complications of a seizure just before Christmas.  It is so scary to me.  I always said from the time Mitch was born how happy I was that we didn't have to deal with seizures and when he turned 5, that was no longer the case and they haven't gotten any easier.  Last nights was very mild but I still broke down.  Bless his little heart!  I love you Mitch!
Posted by Courtney at 3:10 PM

4 comments:

  1. The MortonsJanuary 20, 2010 at 9:21 PM

    Court!! I'm so sorry to hear that. Give little Mitchy lots of loves from his aunt Nicki and uncle Joey and tell him we love him so much. We love you guys so much!!

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  2. Tiffany MortonJanuary 21, 2010 at 12:31 AM

    I'm sorry you had to go through that again. I can't imagine how hard that would be. Love you guys.

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  3. Steven MontgomeryJanuary 23, 2010 at 5:22 PM

    God bless you guys. You are real troopers (ABBA's Super Troopers? Grin.).

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  4. The WalkersJanuary 24, 2010 at 4:15 PM

    Dagnabbit! Oh court, I'm so sorry you have had to deal with that. Those seizures sure are scary things! I've only witnessed two of Mitch's and that is enough for me FOREVER. What a sweet boy. I absolutely LOVE that you have a blog now! I can't even tell you! I just have a permagrin while I read everything. I cant wait to see you guys again! Love ya!

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