Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley. c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Mitch

I have had a lot of time at home lately.  On Friday, Mitch had a really bad seizure and ended up in the hospital.  He kept “pausing” when breathing so we knew he was in bad shape but it was still a shocker to see his co2’s in the 80’s.  His doctor looked at me and said, this is usually something that requires intubation.  “What?” I thought.  I haven’t heard that word since he was a baby in the NICU!  So they bagged him for a little while and he didn’t tolerate that very well, I can’t blame him.  We did a few other things as well and by the time we got another blood gas, his co2’s had dropped into the 60’s.  What a relief!  By the end of the day his blood gas was perfect!  He can flip in a matter of minutes.  It always amazes me just how fast he changes, one minute he can be a little sick and in the next minute we could be rushing him to the hospital wondering if this is it, and then right back to normal!?!  He is still very sick, it will take a while to recover from this one.  This sweet boy has endured so much in his little nine years.  He is amazing.  I feel incredibly blessed to be his mother and I will enjoy him for as long as we have him.  Everyday is a blessing and a miracle.  Love you baby.
Wouldn’t you know, my whole family is sick right now.  I know, big surprise.  We have the greatest neighbors and friends that have taken such good care of us through this.  So in the days that we have been home, (when I can muster up the strength, energy and time) I have been enjoying our family pictures and getting Christmas cards done and all that fun stuff.  Times a runnin out!  I have really loved seeing these of sweet Mitch…
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2 comments:

  1. Court Im SO sorry to hear that. How scary! Mitch is SUCH a doll!!! I love these pictures they really represent his cuteness PERFEECTLY! Love them!!! Please let me know if there is anyway we can help. We love you guys SO much and seriously are here for you! ANYTHING!!! Please ask...please :)
    p.s. This was such a sweet hearfelt post. Thanks for always helping me keep things in perspective. You have always been such an example to me. Love you!

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  2. Courtney I'm so sorry to hear about Mitch!! I'm glad to hear that he is doing better and you guys are definitely in our prayers. We love you guys so much!!! LOTS of HUGS and KISSES for you guys! Tell Mitch that Uncle Joey and Aunt Nicki sure do LOVE HIM!! I'm so sorry we don't make it out there as often as we should.

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