Welcome to Holland: Do you see what I hear, I hear?

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Do you see what I hear, I hear?

I laughed so hard on the way home from taking Mitch to school that it was literally dangerous to be on the road! We were listening to Christmas music when this song came on, “Do you hear what I hear?” Maj’s version is, “Do you see what I hear, I hear?” and “Do you hear what I see, I see?” We heard a funny one last night too when we went to see the Christmas lights at Salem Pond. “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” came on and Maj’s version is “Rudolph the Red Nosed Snowman”, he is constantly mixing things up like that! Soooo funny! All of my boys are so much fun to be with. I love them! Where would we be without a little laughter in our lives! Probably in the nut house!