Welcome to Holland: Major’s Birthday

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Major’s Birthday

Sweet little Major had his 4th birthday on the 11th of Feb. It was not the typical birthday, he had pneumonia. We celebrated as best we could regardless. It was bittersweet for me because this is my BABY! I couldn’t get over the fact that my little baby Roo was turning 4. I begged and pleaded with Will to let me have another one but he wasn’t very keen on the idea. He kept reminding me that I said I didn’t want any children after I turned 30… he’s right, and I wouldn’t want that big of an age difference between them. But still, I can’t look at baby pictures without yearning for another one. Major definitely knows he is the baby… it might do some serious damage to his psyche if we did have another one.

Major idolizes his big brother, Maddock. He wants everything Madd wants and he wants to do everything Madd does. If Madd goes to school on a day that Maj doesn’t go, I still have to dress him “like Nadduck mom.” His has grown from “Attic” to “Nadduck” and I have hopes that soon he will learn his real name! Major is such a sweet boy… he has a huge smile on his face everywhere we go. People ask me all the time if he has that smile on his face all the time and I wish I could say yes, but at least he puts his best foot forward out in public! He can be a little stinker at home. And as much as he loves his brothers, he can be a BIG stinker to them. He is still afraid of firecrackers. I don’t know if that will ever change. He is still a major mama’s boy! I hope that will never change. He thinks dad is pretty cool now too. He is so fun to be around. He says the funniest things… in fact I need to be better about writing it down. Fun memories. He is a blessing to our family and we are so happy to call him ours. Happy birthday, Major! We love you so much.