Welcome to Holland: Arizona

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Arizona

We went to Arizona last weekend and I have to say, I have really missed it! We have been going to California a lot because my parent’s house in AZ is still not finished. Now it is getting pretty close and it’s exciting to me to be able to go to AZ a lot more. I miss being able to spend time with my brothers and their families. We got together for Sunday dinner at Deon’s house and we had the best time! They are so fun to be with. Their kids are getting so big and they entertained us with their talents and fun personalities. I also miss being able to see my Grandma whenever I want. We went to Thatcher on Saturday to spend the day with her. She is so fun to be with too… she has great stories and can entertain us all day long with those! She is getting to be slow moving but I have never seen someone move faster than her when eating at a restaurant and the bill comes to the table. She picks it up before you even know what has happened. She is the sweetest woman I know. We also were able to see some of my friends while there. This was so fun for me. I miss my friends. I took it for granted when we would go to my parents house and spend weeks at a time there, I didn’t take the time to see my friends as much as I should have and now I really miss seeing them! I have such wonderful friends there. In some ways they are more compassionate, understanding and accepting of Mitch than some of my family. I look forward to going back very soon. Will still likes San Diego better but I will always put up a fight for my Arizona!

Who wouldn’t LOVE this! The sunsets are so gorgeous!

Madd LOVED climbing this tree… it’s the same one that Will and I got married under:)

Here’s….. ONERY!

My friends Addie and Justin. Addie and I were best friends in High School. She hasn’t aged or changed one bit since High School. She’s gorgeous! We met at Peter Piper Pizza so the kids could run and play. It was so good to see them.

From there we went over to Trey and Laura’s house. Laura and I have been good friends since junior high. We played Volleyball together all through high school and are still good friends. Trey’s family are good friends of my family. Trey and Laura dated all through high school and all through college and now they have a beautiful family together. Trey will always be dear to my heart… he has been so wonderful and supportive to me. After I had Mitch, I received the most beautiful letter from him telling me he knew I could do this. It meant so much to me and is burned in my memory forever. I love these two…

While we were in Thatcher, we had to go to the cemetery to see Grandpa. Sweet Grandma misses him.

We also had to see Grandma Peggy…

We hit El Charro where they have the best Chilaca’s ever! Then for dinner we went to Casa Mañana, I tried their green corn tamales. They weren’t nearly as good as Grandma’s. She was so sweet to sit and color with Madd. ALL kids LOVE Grandma. They just flock to her… it’s no wonder.

I love my Grandma…

I will treasure this picture forever and ever… this is where Grandma always watches us leave. Look at how cute she is peeking out the window. I’m so glad I snapped this picture.