Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley. c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Are we going to be sick forever?

We have strep AGAIN!  While we were at the doctor this morning, Maddock says to me "Are we going to be sick forever?"  It definitely feels that way right now!  If we get sick one more time this winter, I think I will have a mental breakdown and you will all have to come visit me at the nut house!

Monday, January 25, 2010

THUNDERWEAR!

We are just beginning to understand what Major has to say and we are laughing all the time!  I am trying to get him potty trained and he thinks it is the coolest thing... probably because brother does it :)  He comes in every morning and says, Mom... I need THUNDERWEAR!  For some reason he can't just say underwear, he has to throw the "thunder" in there too!  Perfectly fitting too for his "thunder" thighs!  Actually, he doesn't have nearly as big thunder thighs as Maddock used to have. 

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Seizures

Mitch had another seizure last night.  This is his second one in a three week period.  I will never get used to his seizures... we have pretty much gotten used to little Mitch and all of his issues but this one will never get easier for me.  I think this feeling is heightened because of our sweet nephew, Tyler, passing away due to complications of a seizure just before Christmas.  It is so scary to me.  I always said from the time Mitch was born how happy I was that we didn't have to deal with seizures and when he turned 5, that was no longer the case and they haven't gotten any easier.  Last nights was very mild but I still broke down.  Bless his little heart!  I love you Mitch!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

It had to happen....AGAIN!

Well, yes... we are sick AGAIN!  A nasty cold this time and once again everyone is sick but Will.  How does that happen?  The man has a super human immune system!  Oh well, I am glad it happened now rather than in a few weeks when we are supposed to leave for San Diego!  Hopefully we can get well soon and in time for our trip.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Maddeisms

This is my parents term for all of Maddock's funny little sayings.  When I call them usually their first question is "Do you have another Maddeism?"  LOL!  After seeing what I posted last night of Mitch, Maddock says "Mom, we should put wheels on that tray so he could have a skateboard!" This child is genuinely thoughtful of others... the other day I gave him 5 dollars for rubbing my back and he wanted to give Major 2 of those 5 dollars and also go to the store and buy Major a toy with his remaining 3 dollars.  SWEETHEART!  He loves his brothers (most of the time) and is always thinking about them.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Pure entertainment!!!

Mitch is so fun to watch when he is in a playful mood... He is scooting himself around on this tray and just giggling the whole way!  Never a dull moment when little Mitchy boy is around!

getting off the tray to try something else...

He is thinking about what he's going to do next...

Look at that smile!

Who me?


Safety First!

This child is so funny how he has to wear a helmet EVERYWHERE!


Sunday, January 10, 2010

This one's for you Willy!

Complaining
Mark Twain quipped, "Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it."  A lot of stuff in life is like the weather; there's nothing much you CAN do except talk about it.  Sometimes you're too tired or too low or just too overwhelmed by a bad day to do anything.  Maybe tomorrow you can do something, but not today.  Complaining was invented for times like these.
We're not required to be noble, suffering martyrs.  It's OK to vent.  Sometimes when talking it out, we start to hear ourselves and get a little insight into the situation.  Sometimes we just let off steam and relieve the pressure of our frustration.  We may even give our listener a more realistic picture of what our lives are like.
Complaining is just a way of asking for some acknowledgment of our problems and some reassurance.  Surely we deserve that much.
"Changed by a Child" by Barbara Gill

This is also for my dad who doesn't like how the women in our family have to, as he calls it, "hash and re-hash" everything!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Friday's Kids

I am so very grateful for the Friday's Kids Respite program!  I am impressed that these young college kids volunteer their time on a Friday night to watch kids like Mitch so the parents can have a break!  I am amazed.  THANK YOU TO ALL THE VOLUNTEERS AT FRIDAY'S KIDS!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Little Mitch

This morning was Mitch's first day back to school since the Christmas break!  I am so excited for him because Thursday is the day they go to BYU!  They have so much fun there!  Mitch apparently was excited too because as soon as I got his shoes and jacket on... he scooted right over to the garage door and waited.  Will wiped his nose before they left and Mitch wouldn't let go of him until he picked him up!  I love that he loves school!  Have fun Mitch!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Christmas fun


SLEDDING!



How many suckers can I fit in there?



My beautiful Sister-in-law who has just endured my worst nightmare.  I am so proud of her!  She is the strongest woman I know!



Christmas dinner at Lindsey's in-laws



My beautiful sister, Lindsey




Mitch LOVES his!



self explanatory



Grandma Morton made blankets for everyone! Yeah!



Maddock got his green bike (check)



rounding the corner to see what Santa brought



Mitch is patiently waiting for everyone



can't wait to open presents



Christmas morn

brother thinks he needs to also


tell Santa what you want


Mitch saying "hello" to Santa


Santa showed up at Mitch's school!


This is Mitch sitting in the swing at school


My first post...

This is interesting... I haven't kept a journal for so long and I am out of my comfort zone here, but what I AM good at is taking pictures.  Bear with me while I figure this out and meanwhile enjoy some pics!