Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley. c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Easter

I love Easter!  It reminds me of our Layton family Easter picnics.  So fun!  The boys were so excited about their Easter baskets this year because they made them.  I had to post the letter just because I love how sweet Maddock is all the time.  Always thinking of others. 

 

Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 010Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 029Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 030Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 031Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 032Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 033Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 034

We skipped town… guess where we went?

We can’t help ourselves.  We love it there… yes, I’m talking about San Diego.  One day we will live there. (I hope!) 

Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 011Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 012Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 013Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 016Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 015Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 018Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 021Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 023Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 024Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 026Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 025

This trip was so fun…. we went to Old Town this time, we’ve never done that before.  It was really fun.  And of course, we went swimming.  Our fav.  The boys had a particularly fun time because Rhett and Trent came to swim with them.  Hal and Becky were so sweet to us… they took us out to dinner and a movie with the twins also.  We had a really great time.  I have to share this story… we were a little late getting to the movie and we walked in during the previews.  Hal and Will were getting popcorn and treats for the kids so we went in.  It was a packed theater and the boys went with the twins up top and found seats up there and Becky and I were standing there wondering where the heck we were going to sit because all of the handicapped seats were taken (not by handicapped people, mind you).  I saw this lady get up and start walking towards us from a group sitting in the handicapped seats and she walked up to me and told me how sorry she was that they sat there and that they would move so we could sit there.  I was amazed!  This kind of thing never happens in Utah!  NEVER!  I was very impressed especially because they had to sit in the very front to watch the movie.  I love it when people display such kindness!

So, first things first…. Mitch’s 10th birthday!

DSC_0574

Every time you have a birthday, I take the opportunity to really think about life and how fragile it is.  Ten years is HUGE for you!  We have enjoyed all ten years knowing just how special every one of them is.  We are so very grateful to have you in our lives.  Every child is a miracle but with you, every day we have is a miracle.  You have changed our lives for the better in every way possible.  We love you.  You are our forever baby.  We couldn’t be happier to be along this journey with you.  You are a choice spirit and we feel privileged to have you in our family.  It is a joy to be your mother. 

Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 001Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 002Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 003Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 004Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 005Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 006Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 007Mitch's 10th bday, space derby, Hershey track meet 008

The best thing is that Mitch has a new friend in the neighborhood!  He is in Mitch’s Sunday School class and scouts with Mitch and has taken an interest in him and wants to spend time with him. Needless to say, we are absolutely THRILLED!  Thank you, Colton.  You are amazing.

What’s with the new advertisements on my playlist?!?

I hate the new advertisements in between songs in my playlist!  How dumb?  I was sitting here looking at my blog enjoying the music and thinking WOW I really need to update and all of a sudden, I heard this advertisement.  UGGGH!  Why must we have advertisements stuck to every little thing????

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I predict that soon I will get off my duff…

I have so much to write about, one of these days I will get to it.  I just need to catch my breath for a minute.  Coming soon, LOTS to read and see.  Sorry!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Random pictures…

Why are the boxes the best part of the birthday present?

Madd's 7th bday 001Madd's 7th bday 003

All tuckered out (both of them)

Madd's 7th bday 004

I caught these two making a pinky promise.  wonder what that was about?

Madd's 7th bday 021

 

The other day at the doctor’s office, Sue Ann was looking at Mitch’s ear and she was telling me that the ruptured ear drum wasn’t healed yet and I said to Mitch how sorry I was and that I should have gotten him in sooner… all of a sudden Major piped up and said “Ya Mom, it’s all your fault.”  Sue Ann and I were in tears laughing about it!  You couldn’t have timed it any better… kids are so funny. 

 

Maddock’s 7th birthday

DSC_0430DSC_0432DSC_0627DSC_0684DSC_0424aDSC_0568

What?  I can’t believe he is 7 already.  where did the time go?  this sweet child just keeps getting sweeter as he gets older.  he was my only baby actually born on time.  He was a huge sigh of relief after everything we went through with mitch.  it was a very exciting time in our lives and we were so excited to be having another boy.  we wanted mitch to have a brother so bad.  I had a lot of time to prepare for his arrival because I was on strict bed rest almost the entire pregnancy so we knew exactly what we were going to name him, we knew right after we found out he was a boy.  we had to change it a little bit but that ended up being the best thing…. I really wanted a family name anyways.  after we found out we were having to change it, my dad was thumbing through one of our many family history books, Samuel claridge to be exact, and he found the name maddock.  (It was going to be maddox) he called me up and yelled “it’s a sign!”  go ahead and do it!  we ended up liking it a million times better anyways and bonus…. it was a family name!  the john and Rebecca (maddock) Hughes family…. thank you to you!  When I was to the point of no longer needing bed rest… we went straight to the temple and sealed our little family together for eternity.  So we were sealed on the 12th of March and maddock layton morton was born on the 15th of march.  I couldn’t wait to go see him so I went as soon as I woke up and I guess it was a little too soon because I got really nauseous and threw up in the nursery.  they really give you some good stuff when you have a c-section!  he had fluid on his lungs when he was born so he had to be under the oxygen tent for a while and we were at timp hospital instead of uvrmc so they had no idea what our history was with mitch, the nurses tiptoed around the oxygen thing thinking it would scare me.  ha!  it would take a lot more than a little oxygen to scare me!  it was so nice to be able to take madd home a few days later.  we were absolutely thrilled. 

madd is so fun to be around, he is a very thoughtful boy and he is genuinely sweet.  he loves playing soccer, baseball and riding his motorcycle, which makes dad happy.  he also loves swimming and always asks if he can go to san Diego to go swimming.  he loves his family.  he always is talking about grandma and grandpa and grandma great and all his cousins.  It’s a real treat for him to have cousins that live so close, when he doesn’t see shonnie for a while, he asks to write her a letter or wants to drop in to see her.  how did I get so lucky?  I feel very blessed to have this sweet boy in our family.  he is very much loved.  it is an absolute dream come true to have a child that is sincerely concerned for other people.  I could never ask for more.  I love you so much madd!  you are so special. 

we had a very last minute party… we were sick and not up to it, but madd started making a list the night before so we figured we better.  he ended up having a great time. 

Madd's 7th bday 005Madd's 7th bday 006Madd's 7th bday 007Madd's 7th bday 008Madd's 7th bday 009Madd's 7th bday 010Madd's 7th bday 013Madd's 7th bday 014Madd's 7th bday 015Madd's 7th bday 016Madd's 7th bday 019

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Tortured

Ok. I have to write about this before I forget.  My mom is always telling me to write down everything Maddock says because he is so, so, so funny and he is.  This was the biggest reason I started a blog so that I could write down these funny moments.  This is a doozy.  The other day he came home with a love letter from Hinckley, a girl in his class, and all it said was “I love you.”  Coming from a first grader, seriously how funny is that?!?  So tonight at dinner, I asked him if he had gotten any more love letters.  He sighed and said, “She wrote it on her hand!”  I asked, “What? I love Maddock?”  He said yes and kinda rolled his eyes.  Then he said with another sigh, “So, I’m tortured to like somebody.”  I laughed so hard and he just sat there.  I love that funny boy.  He is one of a kind! 

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Arizona

We went to Arizona last weekend and I have to say, I have really missed it!  We have been going to California a lot because my parent’s house in AZ is still not finished.  Now it is getting pretty close and it’s exciting to me to be able to go to AZ a lot more.  I miss being able to spend time with my brothers and their families.  We got together for Sunday dinner at Deon’s house and we had the best time!  They are so fun to be with.  Their kids are getting so big and they entertained us with their talents and fun personalities.  I also miss being able to see my Grandma whenever I want.  We went to Thatcher on Saturday to spend the day with her.  She is so fun to be with too… she has great stories and can entertain us all day long with those!  She is getting to be slow moving but I have never seen someone move faster than her when eating at a restaurant and the bill comes to the table.  She picks it up before you even know what has happened.  She is the sweetest woman I know.  We also were able to see some of my friends while there.  This was so fun for me.  I miss my friends.  I took it for granted when we would go to my parents house and spend weeks at a time there, I didn’t take the time to see my friends as much as I should have and now I really miss seeing them!  I have such wonderful friends there.  In some ways they are more compassionate, understanding and accepting of Mitch than some of my family.  I look forward to going back very soon.  Will still likes San Diego better but I will always put up a fight for my Arizona!

 

Who wouldn’t LOVE this!  The sunsets are so gorgeous!

Arizona and scouts 005

Arizona and scouts 007

Arizona and scouts 030

Madd LOVED climbing this tree… it’s the same one that Will and I got married under:)

Arizona and scouts 025

Arizona and scouts 031

Here’s….. ONERY!

Arizona and scouts 033

My friends Addie and Justin.  Addie and I were best friends in High School.  She hasn’t aged or changed one bit since High School.  She’s gorgeous!  We met at Peter Piper Pizza so the kids could run and play.  It was so good to see them.

Arizona and scouts 035

Arizona and scouts 036

From there we went over to Trey and Laura’s house.  Laura and I have been good friends since junior high.  We played Volleyball together all through high school and are still good friends.  Trey’s family are good friends of my family.  Trey and Laura dated all through high school and all through college and now they have a beautiful family together.  Trey will always be dear to my heart… he has been so wonderful and supportive to me.  After I had Mitch, I received the most beautiful letter from him telling me he knew I could do this.  It meant so much to me and is burned in my memory forever.  I love these two…

Arizona and scouts 043

Arizona and scouts 042

 

While we were in Thatcher, we had to go to the cemetery to see Grandpa.  Sweet Grandma misses him.

Arizona and scouts 008

Arizona and scouts 010

We also had to see Grandma Peggy…

Arizona and scouts 016

We hit El Charro where they have the best Chilaca’s ever!  Then for dinner we went to Casa MaƱana, I tried their green corn tamales.  They weren’t nearly as good as Grandma’s.  She was so sweet to sit and color with Madd.  ALL kids LOVE Grandma.  They just flock to her… it’s no wonder.

Arizona and scouts 017

Arizona and scouts 018

Arizona and scouts 020

I love my Grandma…

Arizona and scouts 022

I will treasure this picture forever and ever… this is where Grandma always watches us leave.  Look at how cute she is peeking out the window.  I’m so glad I snapped this picture. 

Arizona and scouts 023

Sunday dinner at Deon’s… We just found out that Megan and Tres got accepted to BYU!

Arizona and scouts 049

Hey, nice earing Mitch!

Arizona and scouts 047

Arizona and scouts 048

Arizona and scouts 051

Arizona and scouts 056Arizona and scouts 057Arizona and scouts 058

Arizona and scouts 059Arizona and scouts 060Arizona and scouts 061

Fun times… I can’t wait to go back!