Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley. c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Friday, January 14, 2011

UPDATE

Well, we have an appointment next week with the Director of Special Education.  Wish us luck.  We will need it, I think.  They are very prepared for a fight from the parents.  I am thrilled, by the way, that parents are actually fighting this.  I am not surprised that they love Oakridge as much as we do but after the first meeting I thought they were just going to let this happen.  I didn’t have much hope that I could make any kind of a change by myself.  I think the parents were a little shocked at first, I know we were, but now everyone is MAD and gearing up for a battle.  We have all been working on letters, emails, petitions, and anything else we can think of.  I am very hopeful at this point.  I just want Mitch to be happy and I know that he is extremely happy at Oakridge.  He is thriving in an environment where he feels loved, respected and understood and I am not about to let anyone take that away from him.  I will update again after we meet with the Director. 
One exciting new thing I want to share about Mitch… He is standing up to EVERYTHING!  I walked by his bedroom and peeked in the other night, and he was STANDING up in his bed!  Just standing there playing!  He is not happy unless he is standing now.  For the first time ever, I can see that a walking goal might be achievable for him!  I am so excited for him!  He definitely has the desire.  Now we are going to have to get him another bed, it seems that he has outgrown his hospital bed with rails.  He has been able to get out of it for quite some time now but since he is starting to stand up in bed, I worry about him tumbling over the side of it and really hurting himself.  Silly boy.

1 comment:

  1. WOW!!! Thats amazing! Standing...WAY TO GO MITCH!!! Thats HUGE! As for you guys fighting for Mitch to be able to stay at his school. You should totally get the media involved! News stations would dig that story. How cool would that be to get the awareness out ya know. Good LUCK guys!

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