Welcome to Holland: Pioneer Day

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Pioneer Day

This is one of the reasons I love living in Utah. Fun activities and celebrations throughout the month of July leading up to Pioneer Day. I am incredibly greatful and humbled by the Pioneers. I think of my ancestors that made that trek and how proud I am of my heritage. I have a big stack of books all about my ancestors and I have come to really appreciate them... when I was younger, my Grandparents would give us these books for birthday presents and Christmas presents and any other occasion you could think of. I didn't understand the importance of them back then but as I get older I have learned to love these books. I draw inspiration from these books for all kinds of things in my life... I even got all of my boys names from these books. (with the exception of Mitch who is named after my brother) My family is working on a book right now about my Grandparents and each grandchild has been asked to write a little autobiography about their life and family and for some reason I have really been struggling with this. I could write all day about my Grandparents and the things they have taught me but to sit down and write about my own life story is very hard for me. I think I am one of the last to get my story in and my mom told me the other day to "GET IT DONE! You don't want to be the only grandchild without your story in the book!" That really lit a fire under me and sent panic running through my veins! Thanks mom! I can always count on you! haha!

2 comments:

A Farmer's WifeJuly 24, 2010 at 12:27 PM
Court - you are SO amazing! You will do a fabulous job with your life story! You are a wonderful writer and I love reading your blog!
ReplyDelete
Replies
CourtneyJuly 25, 2010 at 5:18 PM
I now know why I was putting it off for so long! I sat down today and wrote it but I bawled THE WHOLE TIME! lol! Oh well, it feels good to have it done!
ReplyDelete
Replies