Welcome to Holland: First day of school

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

First day of school

I can't believe it! My sweet little Maddock Morton went to school today... 1ST GRADE! I will miss him so much. He will be gone all day! He is so ready for this though. He didn't even want us to take him to school today... he wanted to ride his bike. He also didn't want me to walk him to class, he told me, "I know where to go mom, you don't need to take me!" I wanted pictures though. I wonder if he will be embarrassed at lunch when he pulls out his sandwich that has been cut out into pieces that spell "I LOVE YOU", oh well. hehe. He will probably never let me make his lunch again. As we were leaving, I waved goodbye and said I love you and I'll miss you and all I got was a quick wave and he looked the other way! Thats when you know it's time to go, huh?

Major will miss his "partner in crime", he will be lost without his big brother. He thought this morning was all about him. He got in every picture with Mad! haha! He came right home and put his backpack on too!

Poor little Mitch didn't get to go today, he loves school so much, I am sad for him. He started throwing up yesterday. Not good.

What am I going to do with myself? When Major starts pre-school I will be BORED!