Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley. c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

First day of school

I can't believe it!  My sweet little Maddock Morton went to school today... 1ST GRADE!  I will miss him so much.  He will be gone all day!  He is so ready for this though.  He didn't even want us to take him to school today... he wanted to ride his bike.  He also didn't want me to walk him to class, he told me, "I know where to go mom, you don't need to take me!"  I wanted pictures though.  I wonder if he will be embarrassed at lunch when he pulls out his sandwich that has been cut out into pieces that spell "I LOVE YOU", oh well.  hehe.  He will probably never let me make his lunch again.  As we were leaving, I waved goodbye and said I love you and I'll miss you and all I got was a quick wave and he looked the other way!  Thats when you know it's time to go, huh?

Major will miss his "partner in crime", he will be lost without his big brother.  He thought this morning was all about him.  He got in every picture with Mad!  haha!  He came right home and put his backpack on too! 

Poor little Mitch didn't get to go today, he loves school so much, I am sad for him.  He started throwing up yesterday.  Not good. 

What am I going to do with myself?  When Major starts pre-school I will be BORED! 


Look at this raw emotion... huggin it out.  These two are going to miss each other!  They have been partners in crime for 3 years! 
Look at Major, he is sneaky!  haha!
Mad's teacher, Mrs. Jensen.  Maj made his way into this one too!  haha
What a BIG BOY!
I will miss you sweet boy.  Have a great day!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

IT'S FINISHED!

Wes came back on Friday to finish grouting and also tiled and grouted the fireplace!  Looks great... so happy with it.  Thank you Wes! 
I LOVE how the fireplace turned out too!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Spanish Fork

Our beautiful little town is about to change!  They are pulling all of these wonderful big trees that have been here FOREVER!  They line the main street all the way through town!  Can you believe it?  Our little town will never look the same or be as beautiful as it is now.  I am so sad about this.  That is what makes this town so neat to drive through.  The city is out of their minds!

Salem Pond

Last week for Lindsey's birthday we took the kids to Salem Pond to feed the ducks and play.  We had a great time, as always.  Major was so funny to watch feed the ducks, he would throw a piece of bread to the duck then he would put a piece in his mouth.... one for you, one for me.  It was so funny!  Mitch enjoyed laying on the blanket, he loves to be outside.  I couldn't keep Mad out of the water, typical little boy.  We need to do this more often.


Mad, Shon and Boston (a friend of Mad and Maj)
The whole gang... Maj, Syd, Shon, Mad, Bos
One for me, one for you LOL
Mad and Bos.  I could not keep these two out of the water!
Mitch loving that sun!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Redonkulous

The state medicaid system... that's what is redonkulous!  I have to laugh or I will cry thinking about it.  We just applied again because we have had such a drastic change to our income.  Do you know how much we have paid in medical bills for the past nine years?  You don't want to know.  We even sued our insurance company that dropped us when Mitch was born... FOR MEDICAID!  They got all of their money back from Mitch's nine month hospital stay when we won the lawsuit.  Do you think that we can get a little help now that our income has been greatly reduced?  NOOOOO!  All we got was a Utah Horizon Card for food:) WE DON'T NEED HELP WITH FOOD!  We need help with medical costs!  Hello!?!  I don't mean to sound ungrateful but c'mon, we need a little more than a card to get food with :)  I can't believe this...

On top of all the state's redonkulousness, we just got word from our mortgage company saying they won't modify our loan.  HELP!  We will be moving :) 

I was hoping that the silver lining of our situation would be qualifying for medicaid but I guess I will have to find a new silver lining :)  I am literally sick with stress and worry... I haven't been able to get out of bed since Saturday.  I finally went to the doctor today and got an antibiotic (I mean literally sick with sore throat and fever and headache) but I really think it is just from stress.  It can only go up from here right?  I will try to be optimistic!  Pray for us!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Old Friends

I went to the NICU to visit Sara Caldera and her new little baby, Adrian, today... I should have gone long before now but I'm glad I made it.  He is the cutest little thing.  He looks like his daddy, Ivan.  While I was there I ran into a few people I know... I miss these people!  They were my family for nine months!  I missed seeing Vicki, Mitch's primary nurse, she wasn't working today.  She was so good to me and my family.  I need to make it a PRIORITY to go to the NICU reunions every year.  I don't realize how much I miss these people until I see them again.  It was a fun morning.

This is Don, Reggie and Jenny

Tradework

The great thing about Will working in construction is TRADEWORK!  Three years ago Will wired Wes' house out in Vernal and they worked a deal.  Will traded electrical work for tile work :) Wes has been waiting on us that long to finish his part of the deal.  He will come back next week to grout and finish it.  BTW ladies... Wes happens to be VERY good looking, I will only charge 5 bucks if you want to come watch :) lol! jk!  I am so happy because otherwise we would not get this done!  NO MONEY!  We need the room!  Everything that is left in the basement has been traded except for the paint so I will have to get down there with my trusty paint brush... (we'll see how that turns out) stay tuned!

this is the tile in the bathrooms
it looks great with the concrete floors... brings out the brown stain :)
we also added a back splash in the kitchen
there was too big of a gap between the wall and the counter top to remove the small piece of granite but oh well :) can't wait to build a house someday

Monday, July 26, 2010

FIREWORKS!

We had so much fun celebrating the 24th of July.  We had a big barbeque with Lindsey and her family, and Kari and Madison.  Angie and Jordan and their family came over for fireworks.... Our neighborhood has the best view of the fireworks.  Then we did some of our own... I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.  My face is still sore... What a fun night!  You won't see many pictures of Major because he is terrified of fireworks so he was inside watching a movie :)
Getting Madison comfortable for the show:)
We wish you guys would just move back to the neighborhood already!
Anyone that dropped by got their picture taken:) Calvin Barney.  Maddock LOVES Calvin:)
Shonnie doin her fireworks
Kari and Madison
Ballard
Huh, Linz? lol
Maj was out cold in the house
This one's for you Ang!  LOL!  I think the adults had more fun than the kids :)